Archive for August, 2009

You Can Overcome

When I go to the neighborhood park to workout, I watch an elderly man jog along the track with  focus and determination. At one time he walked gingerly with a cane. Now he doesn’t. The guy stretches his arms, walks and later jogs. While the majority of people socialize, he concentrates on his exercises. A few years ago he had a stroke. I’m amazed at his recovery. But why should I be? His turnaround was based on a belief that he would walk again. Beliefs manifest into reality whether positive or negative. He told me that he spent time lying in the hospital with other patients who had giving up on life, but, he didn’t let it affect him. The guy exercised to strengthen his muscles. We have to feed the mind with positive thoughts to enjoy life and eventually a optimistic attitude will gradually attract superior circumstances. The elderly man’s fruitful thoughts helped him overcome his obstacle. Now, do you have the mental strength to overcome yours?

Selectivity In The Dating Game

I’m very selective when it comes to women. That’s why I’m single. She has to be smart, caring, pretty, ambitious, spontaneous, genuine, loyal and a good cook. Right now, I’m focusing on my poetry ebook not a long term relationship. When I’m ready I’ll choose the right candidate. I will not settle for anyone below my standards. When the majority of people  reach a certain age they tend to accept anyone. They believe their glory years are over.  You have to believe that you deserve a great companion. You’ll meet women who won’t fit your qualifications, but keep taking applications because the right applicant will appear. Don’t center your life around women. Keep improving yourself through self development and goal setting. It increases confidence and makes you more appealing. Women want the best. So be the best.

Why Do You Want To Change?

Why do you want to change? Is it for yourself or are you competing with others? I’m a proponent for change because it’s instrumental for growth and prosperity. You can’t prosper without it. I always want to be an evolving man. Life is always changing and I want to be a part of it. I don’t want to be in the background muttering, “That looks fun but I’m just too scared to try it”. Change is scary, but it can be exhilirating because one doesn’t know what to expect. For example, a 19 year old Javier  is tired of dating younger women because of their immaturity and materialistim. He meets a 35 year old woman in a supermarket and cell numbers are exchanged. Javier promises to call  before leaving the store. He’s excited and nervous about dating a older woman. So he can either:

  • delete her number from his cell.
  • keep the number but don’t call.
  • call and don’t say anything.
  • brag to friends and not pursue.
  • continue dating women his age.
  • go on the date and have fun.

Let’s go through the choices. Deleting her number means  he either lacks confidence or finds a new woman. By keeping the number and not calling he’s just wasting space in his address book. If he calls and doesn’t say anything, he’s extremely shy and his self esteem needs an upgrade. Bragging to friends temporarily boosts his self esteem and ego but fear prevents him from taking the next step. He continues dating younger women because of familiarity and comfort. The final choice is dating the older woman and having fun even though this is unfamiliar territory.  But it can open his mind to new ideas, scenery and culture. What would you choose?

* P.S. I have nothing against younger women. To categorize a specific segment of woman is irresponsible and unjust.

Thou Shalt Think Not Overthink

Thinking is a vital ingredient for developing solutions to problems. Overthinking is a disease caused from the hesitancy and fear of making a wrong choice.  I’m a recovering chronic overthinker. I relapse from time to time. But in the past, I always overanalyzed  minor situations. This paralysis by analysis is mentally draining and shows lack of confidence. I hear the voice in my head saying, “you should do this”, “don’t do this”, “why are you doing this”? It makes me so hesitant and stressed that I annoy myself and friends. One day a friend and I were in the Village. I was hungry, but couldn’t decide on a place to eat. I kept replaying in my head the list of foods from the neighborhood restaurants. We walked a few blocks till I finally decided to get a burrito.  This was nonsensical. My friend voiced his displeasure before entering the restaurant. He said, “you gotta make up your mind”.  Well, I made up my mind after writing this post that I will be 100% more decisive.